Senate minority leader, Mitch McConnell (R), has accused the Senate Conservatives Fund, a Tea Party group that helps finance Tea Party politicians trying to unseat more mainstream Republicans, of giving conservatives "a bad name". He added, "In fact, the Senate Conservatives Fund is the only reason conservatives have a bad name. It is not our repellent, hateful beliefs or our governing style that borders on criminal negligence or our unflagging opposition to anything that helps anyone other than rich, white, Christian, straight males and their ideally stay-at-home wives and fat, gun-toting children."
"Boy, people would really, really love us if it were not for that damn Senate Conservatives Fund," he concluded.
Monday, December 2, 2013
An Ohio Walmart store recently came under criticism when it was revealed that the store was hosting a Thanksgiving food drive for its own employees to donate food to other Walmart employees. The most requested items were canned corn, dry stuffing mix, and a job anywhere other than fucking Walmart.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
The Democratic National Committee has launched a website called YourRepublicanUncle.com which has helpful information and statistics for liberals who may face conversations about politics at Thanksgiving dinner with conservative relatives. For serious emergencies, the DNC also launched YourRacistGrandfather.com which includes information on how phrenology has been disproven, basketball was not better when it was mostly bounce passes and granny shots, and that African-Americans aren't black because they've been burned by Jesus's scornful gaze.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
In his first encyclical, Pope Francis objected to income inequality and disparaged trickle-down economics saying the theory, "has never been confirmed by the facts". It is a strong sign that your economic theory is bullshit when the head of an apocalyptic cannibal cult that believes in miracles calls you out for your total lack of facts.
White supremacist Craig Cobb has been refusing food after being put in county jail in Leith, North Dakota. He said he was doing it to achieve spiritual enlightenment and then clarified, "You know, like Buddha, but without all the disgusting brown skin."
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Former President George W. Bush said that Obama should just build the Keystone XL pipeline and called the decision a "no-brainer". Obama is expected to leave the decision up to Bush because there is no one in the world better qualified to make decisions without using brains.
George Zimmerman has been arrested for a domestic dispute with his girlfriend in which he allegedly pointed a shotgun at her. Zimmerman's girlfriend explained that she was not afraid even when he pointed the gun at her saying, "I knew I was safe because, um, I am not a black teenager."