ALCOHOLICS EPONYMOUS WITH XANDER O'CONNOR - Xander's Comedy and Alcohol Podcast with other Chicago Comedians!

Monday, March 31, 2014

Vial behavior


Gang-related shootings have declined in Chicago.


Sadly, gang-related elaborately conceived poisonings have remained steady.

Abort! Abort!

Planned Parenthood announced plans to build a new $5 million abortion center in Texas.

    Even when they wish it wasn’t, everything is bigger in Texas. 


    Fortunately for anti-abortion Texans, most of the huge new center is just a Steak and Shake.

    Meat your favorite animals!


    U.S. appeals court upholds rule that requires meat to be labeled by country of origin.

    Or planet, where applicable.

    Fortunately, it does not require “meat” to be similarly labeled.

    Monday, March 10, 2014

    Ve-toe the line

    Capitol Media Services recently reported (via Talking Points Memo) that the office of Gov. Jan Brewer (R) of Arizona actually helped draft the anti-gay religious freedom bill that she later dramatically vetoed.  Seeing how her veto bolstered her national standing, Brewer's office is helping draft to-be-vetoed legislation to cut food stamps, raise taxes, castrate gay men, and require heterosexual married couples to wear bronzed testicles as wedding rings.

    Auto-bahned from speaking

    Texas Democratic Senate candidate Kesha Rogers recently said that Obama's support for "Nazis in Ukraine" makes him like Hitler.  Obama himself recently made the same comparison of Hitler to himself saying, "Well, I am a pretty shitty painter."

    Tuesday, March 4, 2014

    She should be pale-in comparison

    Sarah Palin, the woman who once quit being the governor of Alaska, criticized Obama's "weak leadership" with regard to Ukraine and said that the world sees Obama as a guy who "wears mom jeans" and Putin as "one who wrestles bears and drills for oil".  Palin added, "I, on the other hand, take off my mom jeans to wrestle bears and get drilled."

    Actually just true news with fantastic timing.

    A new analysis by the Urban Institute finds that the groups with the highest opposition to Obamacare include the rich, white people, healthy people, and those already insured.  In unrelated news, today also marked the 50th attempt by the House Republicans to repeal part or all of Obamacare.  The editor of this blog salutes the brave members of Congress who, against all odds, fight for America's most disadvantaged: healthy, insured, rich, white people.